No Regret's
by LovelyBones89
Summary: "Will You Marry Me?" The first thought's that popped up in my head were 'Yes' and 'Im So happy I could die—' and With that thought as quickly as my smile came on my face it disapered. I looked around the room at all the people I loved smiling at me, including the love of my life. There was one person that looked as if he was going to be sick though. "I'm sorry... I Cant marry you."


**A/N: I dont own these character's. S.M. Does. **

**- Okay I'm Really Excited About This Story. I Hope You All Like It. Dont Forget To Review. (:**

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**_BOV_**

"How long do I have?" I said looking down at my lap, too afraid to look him in his eyes. I heard him sigh "Bella, there are a number of things you can do… I can put you on a transplant list and—" I looked up into his green eyes.

"What so I can have false hope. Carlisle we both know that it would be a waste of time. Even if you did use your power to put me at the top of the transplant list there are plenty of other people who deserve a heart more than me.

Children who need to be able to grow old and see the world, I can't steal there life so that I can live, plus we don't even know if it would be a success." I heard him sigh "Bella, It could work we don't know until we try. I'm the best heart surgeon in the country… probably in the world and I think you have a chance."

I sighed looking away from his face. "How long Carlisle?" The room was silent for what seemed like forever. Finally I heard the words that told me my fate. "A year…maybe longer… But Bella I know that if you just let me—"

I shook my head "No, I couldn't go through all of that hoping that someone will die so that I can live."

I looked up to the man who'd become like a second father to me, and I saw the pain in his eyes. "I'm okay with dyeing. I've had a good twenty one years and I may make it to twenty two. I'm okay with it."

I said looking him in his eyes willing him to believe me. I saw his eyes began to tear up "Bella Please just let me help. Let me do something… "He said sounding like he was desperate. I smiled a sad smile at him as I got up from the hospital bed.

"You can do one thing for me….don't tell anyone… not even Esme , I don't want anyone to look at me any different. I want to live my last year doing things I always wanted to do. Not with everyone being worried about me."

He was shaking his head before I even finished talking. "Please Carlisle don't tell anyone." He still was shaking his head "Bella I can't hide something like this … you shouldn't ask me to."

I felt anger hit me "Dr. Cullen you're not in the position to be able to tell them. You may be like a father to me. But right now you're my doctor and you can't tell anyone what's in my file." I saw his shoulder's sag but he didn't speak.

"I've got to go Carlisle. Tell Esme I said hi." I said walking passed him and out the door. When I finally got to my car I finally let go.

The tears started to fall freely. I was dying. Ever second I get closer to death. There was nothing I could do. I don't even remember driving home or getting out my car and going in the house.

When I walked into my apartment I went straight for the big bottle of vodka.

I opened the clear bottle of sanctuary and almost thought about getting a cup. But thought better of it and brought the bottle to my lips. I felt almost better feeling it burn my throat.

I sat on my kitchen floor with the bottle in my hand drinking from it till it burned too much then stopping for a moment then drinking from it again. I began to wonder what Alice would have them put on me for my funeral.

I laughed at that thought.

I can see her trying to tell them to put me in some pink dress. She'd probably demand that she help with my makeup. I bet Emmett would get up on stage saying something corny like that even though Isabella swan is gone her swan if flying to a better place.

I started to laugh harder at the thought. I laughed till the next thing I knew I wasn't laughing I was sobbing.

It hit me then I wasn't going to be able to grow old with a husband. I wasn't going to be able tell my husband id never let him touch me again while I had our first baby. I wasn't going to getting married.

I brought the bottle to my lips only to find it was empty. I looked at the bottle in amazement. That I actually drank the whole thing, the next thing I knew it was broken in pieces on the other side of the kitchen.

It was broken like me, and it couldn't be fixed. I crawled over to the broken class. Maybe it could be fixed.

_ Carlisle was saying stuff today that should give you hope. It could be a bottle again, it can be fixed_. I thought picking up pieced and trying to stick them together.

I could feel pain but I continued to try to fix the bottle. I let out a sob as I looked at my bloody hands. I smelled the mix between iron and rust and the next thing I know everything went black.

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**A/N: So What did you think? Review. Review. Review. Tell Me what you think. The Rest of the chapter's will be longer. This is just like the Introduction. But Enough of me talking. Tell Me what your saying. (:**


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